What If Nothing’s Wrong With You? Rethinking the Question That Keeps Us Stuck

Most of us carry some version of this question:

“What’s wrong with me?”

It starts early—maybe in a classroom, when we were told we were too distracted, too sensitive, too dreamy, too intense. Maybe later, in relationships, when we couldn't seem to do things the way other people did. Maybe it lingers in the background even now, as adults doing the best we can: showing up for others, staying on top of our responsibilities, even excelling in certain areas—while quietly wondering why we feel so tired, so behind, or so disconnected from how things are "supposed" to feel.

Sometimes that question—what’s wrong with me?—is so familiar, we forget to question it back.

The Problem With the Question

When we assume something is wrong, our minds start scanning for a diagnosis, a flaw, a deficit. We might go down rabbit holes of self-help, medical labels, or neurodivergence checklists, sometimes finding clarity, sometimes getting more overwhelmed.

None of this is inherently bad—getting answers can be profoundly helpful. But sometimes, we forget that there’s a difference between self-awareness and self-surveillance. One expands us. The other shrinks us into a problem to be solved.

What If the Real Question Is...

“What is right with me, that has been misunderstood?”“What have I been working against, instead of with?”“What if the pain I feel isn’t a flaw, but friction?”

A Different Kind of Discovery

I’ve worked with people who come to me feeling exhausted by their minds—racing thoughts, perfectionism, feeling like they’re never doing enough, or that they’re always one misstep away from things falling apart. Many are successful, intelligent, reflective. But they carry a lifetime of feeling “off.”

Some decide to get cognitive testing. Some don’t. That part isn’t the point.

The shift often comes not from the numbers, but from seeing their mind differently:

• Understanding that having a fast, complex, or emotionally intense mind can be misread as a disorder or deficit in environments that don’t nurture those traits.

• Realizing that what seemed like “poor focus” might actually be high responsiveness to complexity, or sensitivity to internal and external stimuli.

• Discovering that feeling "slow" or "scattered" might come from processing at a deep, nonlinear level—not from a lack of intelligence, but from a surplus of meaning-making.

In other words: what once looked like dysfunction might actually be misalignment.

Why This Matters

When people see themselves more clearly, with more nuance and less judgment, something begins to soften. They don’t magically “fix” their challenges—but they stop trying to force themselves into someone else’s mold. And from that place, they start building lives that fit.

Sometimes that means:

• Working in a way that honors depth over speed.

• Setting up external systems to support working memory or attention.

• Letting go of old shame about being “too much” or “not enough.”

And often, it means turning toward themselves not with suspicion, but with care.

You Don’t Need a Label to Change Your Story

Whether or not you ever pursue formal testing or diagnoses, you deserve to understand your mind in a way that brings relief—not just rules.

If the old question “What’s wrong with me?” has never brought you peace, maybe it’s time to ask something kinder:

“What if I’m not broken?”“What if I’m just built differently—and beautifully?”

That small shift in perspective won’t solve everything. But it might soften something. And sometimes, that’s where healing begins.

Realignment isn’t about fixing what’s broken—it’s about finding the path that fits your mind.

If this resonates with you or someone you care about, I invite you to reach out.